


Take me home tonight ♫

by polarRabbit



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Identity Reveal, M/M, selkie!Peter, zookeeper!Wade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 13:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17561615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polarRabbit/pseuds/polarRabbit
Summary: “Who are you? How did you get in here? Why are you naked? And holy fuck did you skin a seal?“ Wade Wilson one of thirty keepers of Queens’ zoo was going to have an aneurysm. The reason for his current health problem was standing right in front of him, completely nude except for a seal pelt, which he’s holding to his chest, barely covering his crotch.





	Take me home tonight ♫

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write another seacreature au after the kelpie one and since most are about mermaids and sirens I wanted to throw in some selkie love in the mix! ♡

“Who are you? How did you get in here? Why are you naked? And holy fuck did you skin a seal?“ Wade Wilson one of thirty keepers of Queens’ zoo was going to have an aneurysm. The reason for his current health problem was standing right in front of him, completely nude except for a seal pelt, which he’s holding to his chest, barely covering his crotch.

He’d been cleaning the seal’s compound and was about to feed them with some juicy tuna and other sea delicacies when a young, brunet man had appeared out of nowhere. Wade had been trained to handle all kind of animal and visitor situations during his apprenticeship, but this followed no textbook scenario he’d ever heard of. While he was silently losing his shit the seals had surrounded their keeper, impatiently eyeing the bucket full of tasty treats he’s holding and somehow had managed not to drop despite his current state of shock.

“My name’s Peter. I mean that’s how you always called me.“, the stranger introduced himself with a slightly flustered smile.

“I’ve never seen you before! And I’m sure I’d remember if you had pulled a stunt like this before!“ 

“You’ve taken care of me for over a year for which I am very grateful. The doctor treated my injuries but you kept me company every day, even when I still had to be isolated from the rest of the group.“ Peter explained patiently, hoping his calmness would rub off on his keeper, but so far it wasn’t working very well. Wade continued to eye him warily, his posture all stiff and defensive.

“No way. The only Peter I know is…he’s a damn seal, and he isn’t here!“, Wade pointed out becoming upset all over again because his favorite resident was missing and the fur marking on the pelt looked an awful lot like Peter’s. To some people the seals all looked the same, but to Wade they were just as distinct as people. Their faces and bodies had different shapes, and they did show different kinds of behavior too. Peter was playful and smart, quickly learning the basic tricks he’s teaching the seals for the show.

“I am right in front of you, Wade. I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m really sorry for freaking you out but there’s no other way. I can’t talk to you in my seal form, so I had to change.“ Fumbling on the edge’s of his pelt Peter mentally prepare himself to hit Wade with another confession. “I’m a selkie.“ The words left his mouth in a rush. It was the first time he’d revealed himself to a human, and he had no idea how his keeper would react to it.

“You what now?“ Was this a common word of the American language he’s supposed to have learned during elementary school? He’d always had trouble staying focused, having the attention span of a butterfly in a field of wildflowers.

“A seal that can shed their skin and become human.“ Peter was kind enough to enlighten him. „We’re originally from Scotland but started to spread all over the Seas during the last decades.“

“Sounds like a fairy tale.“ Wade stated, his voice tinged with disbelief. Was Logan getting him back for his lil pheromone infused work cloths prank from last week? If that’s the case he’d surely put a lot of effort into his revenge. Usually Wade got away with verbal threats and looks that could kill. 

“I’m gonna show you!“ If words couldn’t convince him then maybe actions could. That was if Wade didn’t believe him to be a seal killing magician.

Wade reflexively averted his gaze when the guy lowered the pelt in order to step into it like it was a dress. Instead of turning into the gore version of Cinderella he watched the brunet turn into…Peter the seal.

“The fuck? Petey?“ Wade gaped so intensively at the transformed animal in front of him that it was a small miracle his eyes didn’t pop out of their sockets. Now he felt relieved about the fact that Peter hasn’t been slaughtered by some crazy nudist but still high-key freaking out about all of this gibberish he’d been force-fed to be the truth.

The seal yipped in confirmation, looking kinda proud that Wade finally figured it out or rather realized that this wasn’t an elaborated prank from his coworker.

“Christ on a cracker, I can’t believe I was hand feeding an actual person and made you kiss me in front of an audience.“, Wade muttered to himself, unable to stop staring. Eventually Peter shed his skin once more and making a reappearance in his human –still naked- form.

“I don’t mind. It was kinda fun. That’s why I stayed for so long…but I really miss the ocean and wanna go back. I just didn’t want to disappear into thin air without saying goodbye first.“

“Uh thanks I guess.“ He’d still have to explain to director Fury how one of their animals had disappeared without a trace and Wade definitely couldn’t give him Peter’s version, or he would lose his job and end up in a mental hospital. Maybe he could convince the director that someone had stolen the seal. Not like stuff like this hadn’t happened before, although not on his watch.

“Could I ask you for a last favor? You have the keys, if you open the doors for me that would be great.“

“Yeah, I can do that.“, he agreed weakly, his mind continuing to reel. If selkies were a thing did that mean merpeople were real too? What about vampires and wervolves? Had Logan secretly been a werwolve all along? It would explain his excessive amount of body hair. Wade could totally picture him turning into a werwolve, howling at the moon with the rest of his regular wolf pack. 

Taking a deep breath he tried to prevent his mind from spiraling any further into the abyss of mythical creatures and get back to the one he had to deal with right now. “Do you actually have some backup cloths hidden somewhere because leaving the zoo like this will attract a lot of unwanted attention.“

“I don’t have cloths or money to buy them.“, Peter admitted sheepishly, bunching up the sleek pelt between his fingers.

“How do you plan to get back to Long Island without a penny in your non-existent pockets?“

“Walk to the next river that’s connected to the harbor and swim to it.“, the brunet returned, yet it sounded suspiciously uncertain and more like a question that a statement.

“Do you have any idea which way to go in order to reach South Bay?“

“Well I know I’m gonna have to go to the South.“

“Unbelievable! You’re the most unprepared runaway ever!“, Wade exclaimed with a groan. His good conscience wouldn’t allow him to let the selkie aimlessly wander New York until he eventually found a river or himself being murdered in an back alley.

“We have to come up with an at least mediocre plan, so you’ll actually make it back home.“

“You’re going to help me?“ Peter asked, visibly delighted by the implication.

“Do you see any other volunteers around?“ One of the other seals apparently took that as a cue to lift their fin and utter a squeaky noise. “Shut up, Miles.“, Wade huffed before reaching into the bucket to feed the small, black seal a squid. He most definitely didn’t need another seal to accompany him on this upcoming trip. At least Peter didn’t want to go back to Scotland.

“Alright I’ll need some time at least until the weekend in two days to get properly prepared.“ 

“No problem, a few days more or less don’t make a difference to me. Can I help you somehow?“

“Just…act normal I guess.“ He returned with a shrug because there wasn't really anything Peter could do from the inside.

“I can do that!“

“Peachy. Now I’d be better if you turned back and stay a seal until I tell you otherwise.“

“I understand. It was nice to finally talk to you. Oh, and can I get a herring? Those are my favorites!“, Peter requested, then turning back into his seal-self, sending Wade a pleading look and urgh this was his weakness. Big, round hazel eyes and light eyebrow patches that made Peter look like the most pitiful being on earth.

“Alright lovemuffins, dinner time!“, the zookeeper exclaimed loudly, starting to hand out food left and right, making sure that every seal got fed and if he passed Peter a few extra herrings it was complete coincidence. After all he wasn’t supposed to have a favorite fosterling. He tried very hard not to think about the upcoming farewell.

**//The Weekend //**

Wade’s car was standing on the staff parking lot with a full tank. In his locker was a duffle bag with an extra set of cloths. Mentally going through his daily routine Wade tried to act natural as if he wasn’t planning to smuggle a seal out of the zoo. 

That included his lunch ritual with Clint, the birds of prey keeper. They had this ongoing challenge where they tried to shoot honey loops and other cereal missiles at clueless bypassers. To be fair most of them weren’t as clueless anymore and had gotten used to their antics. It made the game more difficult since the people tried to avoid them but also more interesting. The only person they didn’t dare to fuck with was Natasha. She gave off those vibes that made it clear that she wouldn’t hesitate to feed you to her big cats and make it look like an accident brought on by your own fault.

He managed to lose today’s match 3:7, which must’ve been an all time low. Usually the point gap wasn’t this big. Wade blamed it on a lack of magnesium, which made his hand unsteady and messed up his aim. Clint gave him a disbelieving look at that obvious bullshit excuse, but like a good coworker didn’t ask any further questions.

Wade ended up being low-key nervous for the rest of the day. It was a big relief when it was about closing time and the visitors headed fort he exits. This would be the perfect opportunity to leave without causing any suspicion. The seal was already waiting for him at the compound’s employee entrance. Wade quickly unlocked the glass door and stepped aside for Peter to belly crawl out of the pen before he started to shed his skin. 

“Here, put those on.“ Wade instructed the selkie while handing him his bag with a shirt, shorts and some flip-flops inside. They’re the only articles of clothing he’d been able to dig up from his closet that seemed like they could fit someone almost half his size. The shirt reached Peter’s thighs and looked more like a night gown than anything else. Well, he wasn’t supposed to win a fashion award with this particular outfit. All dressed up Peter pocketed his pelt in the duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “Ready whenever you are.“, the brunet chirped, happily wiggling his toes in the neon colored flip-flops.

They parted ways if only for a short time and met up at the parking lot where Wade guided Peter to his car. After a brief explanation about seat belts and how to use them Wade pulled out of the parking space, heading for the main road. Peter spent the first half an hour plastered to the side window taking in the view of the streets and shops they’re passing. It was kinda endearing. Activating the navigation system on his mobile Wade finally felt himself starting to unwind. They’d made it without getting caught, and he would most certainly not lose his job. “Wanna listen to some music?“, Wade suggested thinking that it could be an interesting experience for Peter as well. Did they even have music under the sea, aside from whale songs. 

“Sure!“, the selkie affirmed, tilting his head towards the speakers when Wade started his Spotify playlist. He had no idea what Peter’s taste was but since he listened to a wide variety of music there should be something for the selkie’s liking too.

-

The water was lapping around their soles, stirring up the sandy ground. This was it, he’d helped Peter reach his destination and now that they’re about to part the realization hit him, like a seagull in the face. Next time he’d enter the seal area Peter wouldn’t be around anymore. Sure he’d only found out about the other being half human a few days ago but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been attached before. During their car ride and the constant flow of conversation Wade had started to fall for him in a completely different way. The way Peter talked about his favorite memories of them and what he’s going to miss about the zoo made Wade think that yes, he’d miss those moments too. The way Peter had enthusiastically waddled towards him in the morning to greet him had always brightened Wade’s day. Those days when he was feeling blue and working over hours, just so he could have some company before returning to his flat, where no one was waiting for him.

“Don’t give me that sad look. This isn't a goodbye forever. It's a see you later you know?" Peter’s soft voice pulled him out of his quickly spiraling thoughts, leaving him with a bit of an emotional whiplash.

“Why would you want to come back. There's nothing here for you.", Wade remarked with a frown. He’d rather make a clean cut than getting his hopes up for nothing. 

“There’s a lot more than you think.", Peter disagreed, giving the other a pointed look.

“Cryptic. Great, you've just turned into the sea oracle of Long Island." 

Apparently Wade hadn’t picked up on any of his many subtle hints yet, so maybe Peter had to be more straight forward with him in order to get the message across.

“I will be back and I hope you're gonna wait for me...", he started another attempt, closing the small gap between them by taking a step forward. Wade not backing off was all the invitation the selkie needed to tilt his head and place a light, lingering kiss onto Wade’s lips. He might not be back in a month or two, so he wanted to provide an incentive for his human. Pulling back again he took in the sight of Wade staring back at him with wide eyes, making Peter feel pretty smug about his bold move.

“Wow, I think that was our first not staged kiss.", Wade stated, still a bit breathless once he found his bearings. It had also been a lot less sloppy, which shouldn’t come as a surprise. 

“There could be more." A cunning smile played around the corner of the brunet’s mouth. Wade recognized a promise if he heard one and this one was so alluring that it made him want to grab Peter and carry him back to his car, make him forget about the stupid ocean. He had a tub back home, they could have a great time in there too. Wade was aware of his brain coming up with all kinds of desperate scenarios despite knowing that none of this was going to happen. He wouldn’t force Peter to stay trapped on land. 

What he allowed himself was another kiss, not initiated by the other but himself, filled with all the affection that was crushing his heart right now. He could feel Peter’s arms wrap around his neck, keeping their chests pressed together. A pleased sigh disrupted the temporary silence. Wade couldn’t even tell if the noise had escaped his own mouth or Peter’s. Everything seemed to be melting together in the warm glow of the setting sun. Only when his lungs started to burn with the need for fresh air did he dare to break the kiss. Burying his face in the windblown tangle of brown hair Wade waited for his wildly beating heart to calm down.

“Alright if you don't get away now I definitely won't let you go."

“It’d help if you’d loosen your grip.“

“Nah, that can’t be the problem.“, Wade protested, giving Peter one last squeeze before he let his arms drop. The kiss didn’t make it any easier, only worse, and yet he didn’t regret it for one second. He lifted his head to meet hazel eyes, gazing up at him with adoration, making his throat run dry. 

“I will be back.“, Peter vowed, voice low and barely about a whisper. Wade couldn’t do more than nod in confirmation. His eyes stayed fixed on Peter’s retreating form, watching him shed his cloths, wading into deeper water while holding the seal skin in one hand. He didn’t turn around before he dived under the rippling surface for which Wade felt somewhat grateful. His resolve not to follow him was already crumbling. He wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination or if there’s really a small seal head appearing further away, merely for a moment then disappearing in the weaves.

“And I will be here…“

**Author's Note:**

> Not entirely happy with the ending but I wanted to get it out anyway, so I can focus on the next story /) w(\


End file.
